Friends With Benefits

I hate to admit it but Justin Timberlakes and Mila Kunis new movie "Friends With Benefits" was an amazing movie. I'm that guy that walks past Harkins Theatre that has seen every freaking movie on their list, so I'm trying something new. Ok... just like every other husband/boy friend out there, I was dragged out to the movies tonight by the woman I love to watch another mushy romance movie. Basically in my eyes "Friends With Benefits" was the same movie as "No Strings Attached," and too be honest... I went into the movie thinking I knew exactly how it would begin, climax and end, and yes, unfortunately, I was right. It is the same old love story; however, to my surprise what makes this movie stand out is how they tell it. No Spoilers, but I'll tell you I spent the entire time laughing hysterically out loud and that the beautiful Mila's semi nude body made the movie very easy to enjoy, and in addition Justin is developing into a great actor.

I'm going to end by saying to my friends if you want to make some serious brownie points with your girl while not boring the sh!t out of yourself or girls if you want to firm your abs by laughing your butt off while out for ladies night, purchase some tickets for "Friends With Benefits" and get ready to enjoy the night.

I Hated it

God! i was reminded today how much I hate it when your bladder is about to bust from drinking a 44 ounce Big Gulp from Circle K and you have to wait outside a bathroom cuz someone is already inside, then when they walk out the bathroom, smells of fresh shit and the sink is bone dry. Then it hits you that, that mother f#cker just man handled the damn door knob without washing his dirty lil hands.

Once, you get passed the fact you have another grown mans fresh feces on your hands, you go about your business.... Then you find this shit!!!

Toilet paper in the trash with fresh shit streaks from someone whipping their dirty trifling ass.

WTF

Medieval chimp and his brutal biology experiments. My question is how in the hell do chimps come up with this?!

If you don't believe the hype... Here's a close up

Why The Bottom My Shoes Are Sticky

Last night I headed to our local Harkins Theater excited to catch the new movie, "DEVIL", but first I stopped by the snack bar to pick up a large bag of salty mouth watering buttered popcorn and a humungous bladder bustering Cherry Coke, then I rushed to grab my favorite seat, on the corner of the middle row. As the movie starts I began to dig into my popcorn stuffing large handfuls into my already stuffed mouth, and as the scenes grew more intense, my eyes locked immensely on to the screen, my body slouched further into my seat to the point where my eyes were barely visible from the seat in front of me, and I'd shoveled even more popcorn into my mouth until my cheeks looked 9 months pregnant about about to pop. Half way down the bag my lips begin to dry out. They began to sting and burn from all the salty popcorn I've just demolished, so I pick up my bucket of Cherry Coke which requires two hands to effectively hold, and gulp fiercely, racing to the bottom like a pirate digging above a buried treasure. Now that I had every under control, I could get back into the suspense of the movie. I start eating my popcorn again, but this time more wisely. I'd only grab a few at a time. I stretch me feet out and kick back.... Here we go! The movie is getting really good... Oh shit, the Cherry Coke kicks in and I have to extremely pee. I was rocking back in forth in my seat doing the pee dance until I couldn't take it any more, so I jumped out of my seat and burst out the theater door. I dodged people while I scrambled for the overhead restroom sign. I make it through the door and jolt to the first available stall I see..... AWWW I was in Heaven for 30.7 secs. I then dart back to my seat before I missed anything good. After the movie was over and the credits started scrolling, I felt it again... My bladder was full, so I made my journey back to the restroom before it got crowded and that's when I notice that I stepped into something sticky. That sucks! I probably stepped in some candy, but I thought, " Oh well I'll live" as I walked into the restroom. I headed straight to the same stall by this time I felt attached to it like it was mine. After I relieved myself again, I began to step off when I almost lost my left shoe. It was stuck to the sticky piss floor... FUCK! That's when I look to the right and left and notice every stall was exactly the same.

Yes, Ladies Its sad but true; mens restrooms are disgusting! That's the main reason I take my shoes off at my front door

TERRIBLE!

TERRIBLE

"BIG BIRD" just died... he was found in his NY hotel after a live performance on Broadway. He was buttnaked, and face down laying in his own vomit. It appears to be an over dose or a sexual fixation; however, authorities will know more after they apprehend and interrogate the last person seen with him while he was alive.... Snuffleupagus


http://static.blogcritics.org/09/05/09/103316/followthatbird.jpg

Online Battle 8/26/10

Sharing some of my dumb ass antics! HAHAHA

me: You're rhymes are lame

Sent at 11:35 AM on Thursday

Mark: My rhymes are incredible, droid/You ain't buff Kenjo that's a steroid!

Sent at 11:38 AM on Thursday

me: Let me check my formula... This is like Calculus. I'm commander kirk and you're just a NONAME LAME that dies on the planet Romulus. I get the chicks and while you just get the shitty end of the stick. But I wont let you suffer, I'll put you out of your misery quick... HAHAHA

Mark: haha check it!

Sent at 11:45 AM on Thursday

Mark: They call you a computer guy a mach tech/But yous a loser guy should be a whack tech!/You couldnt be firing shots even if you had a mech ten!/Formula? Do the math son/I'm in first place while you the last one/Your brain is adolescent thats why they got you workin with infant/Your rhymes are weak I beat em quick in an instant!

Sent at 11:49 AM on Thursday

me: OUGHT OH!!!

If this was streetfighter I'd be M. Bison, while you'll be Balrog, Yeah the busted ass Tyson.
But the only biting you'll be doing is on my D!ck. Don't call me Dalson when it extends cuz I'm more like Guile's Scissor Kick. You want to talk about me being a Mac tech and having a full plate... Bitch you at the help desk.... The phones ringing? Oh Yeah I can wait. We back on, You ready for this ass whippin! Cuz I'm over here laugh while you handle my lightwieght.... YOU KNOW YOU TRIPPIN! HAHAHAHA

Man you couldn't walk in my shoes anyday... It dont even matter how they laced up. Tech, Rapper, actor, Wrestler, Football, tattooing? Man, you'd be fucked laying face up. The only instant shit you know is on the back of a oat meal box, and never forget I'll smash you everytime like you BIGGIE and I'm PAC

Sent at 11:56 AM on Thursday

me: Dude don't fux with me... I'm a writer... thats how I get down foul
Even though I just ate you alive... We still cool

Mark: Faaaaauu I'm the definition of battle rapper! hahaha

Sent at 11:58 AM on Thursday

me: HAHAHA.... Well you need to work on your craft then cuz you just got handled.

HOWEVER, I would of never come off the top like that.

Mark: My craft is global son, world of warcraft!

me: If i have a keyboard and time to write.. i"m fierce

Mark: ye ye ye ye ye!

me: You might be World of Warcraft, but you like a gnome... Just running around chopping trees to build other peoples homes... HAHAHA

Mark: Fool! I build homes and you ain't got one! Like the sun.. I'm hot son! YEEEEEEE

man I need to go on break im hungry as tits

me: The closes you've ever got to a pair of tits, was you're mom breast feed you while she was eating a filet Hallibut

HAHAHAH